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Among other strange things about me is that I’m
dyslectic, so spelling and grammar are a problem for me. Other people do check all my published writing, but if you
ever receive emails from me, they are all originally me. Nevertheless, I do hope you appreciate the authentic personal side
of me more than perfect spelling and grammar.
I was born in 1951, and (strange as it might
sound) I’m a grandfather and have gained life experience enough to cover more that I sometimes would like to admit.
My writing started late, mainly as I became very ill due to this gender dysphoria (transsexualism) in 2002. Computer spelling
programs made it possible for me to write, and I seem to do okay. But back at school I was put aside, and teachers called
me a stupid kid because of my dyslexia. However, in my adult life I have learned two most important things: Dyslexia has nothing
to do with stupidity, and transsexualism is not about any mental diseases or perversions whatsoever.
I’m not going to take up space on this
page telling you about my story (that is too long); instead I do encourage you to read my book Behind Waves, a novel
about an emotional journey that is very much based on mine and my wife’s struggle during the period when I changed sex.
The Behind Waves poem card series is another way of letting you know about me. In a series of pamphlets and articles I have
made available on other Li-Sam language version websites, I tell about my understanding of this phenomenon called transsexualism
and how it affects us.
Most writing about transsexualism speaks to the
person intending to change gender or about the fascination of transitioning and gender-related surgery.
Spouses, family,
relatives, workmates, friends and other acquaintances are left very much in the shadow, despite that their feelings often
are similar to the transsexual person’s. In many ways I try to tell about this similarity and share my experiences with
you about the effects of transsexualism on loved ones. Simply to dismiss their feelings as phobic and demand immediate acceptance
is a serious mistake that serves nobody.
Transsexualism is a life
phenomenon and not that uncommon at all. Sharing emotions, talking to one’s partner, and overcoming fears are the core
to keeping a relationship alive. Being together and caring about each other is how relationships develop, and transsexualism
is an obstacle that a loving, happy couple certainly can overcome.
In matrimony we promise to love each other ‘til death do us part. A change in gender: is that the end or is it where love really starts? |
Many other people who have “come out”
about their change in gender have also set up websites to help others struggling with transsexualism. By telling their stories
and giving advice and support, they have helped me to survive, and I would like to thank them all for sharing their experiences
and in many cases their private lives, too. Even though I haven’t visited all those websites out there, I know that
what they do saves lives.
One thing I have learned while searching the
internet is that there is a variety of ways people understand transsexualism. I’ve also learned that you shouldn’t
compare websites regarding which is “truer” than others. In the same manner you shouldn’t compare women
or men as being more genuine than other women or men.
There is no right or wrong here; the important
thing is to find an understanding that works for you in that it enables you to be yourself and to enjoy other people as they
are too. There are many ways to enjoy knowing a person; it’s just a matter of learning and finding out what works for
you. This being said, you probably don’t like all the people you meet, and that is okay. But if you don’t like
someone, you should never deny them their life, the right to be themselves.
Transsexualism is a phenomenon,
not a person. It doesn’t mean that any person wishing to change sex is a transsexual; it instead indicates that a male
person with a male body can have a female soul, or the other way around. Many people describe this as being trapped in a body
of the wrong sex. We call these persons transsexuals, but really they are men and women like anybody else, just with this
unfortunate phenomenon affecting them.
Consider body, mind and soul.
What’s
gender versus gender role?
Transsexual gender=sex with a twist.
If your gender’s questioned, you don’t
exist.
What will become of my writing adventure? I guess
it very much depends on the response I get (if any) and the time I can spend keeping the site up-to-date and lively. In any
case, I will try to do my best.
Li Sam
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